Networking Is Just Adult Playground Behavior
Cold outreach isn’t weird. It’s just humans looking to connect — and most of us are overthinking it.
I’ve met some of you who read this.
Some of you I know well.
Many of you I’ve never met.
And there’s a very good chance we never will.
Not because I don’t want to.
But because neither of us has a “reason.”
It feels strange to email someone and say:
“Hey — want to grab coffee?”
No pitch. No agenda. No context.
When we were kids, this wasn’t complicated.
You saw someone on the playground.
They looked fun.
You walked over and said, “Want to play?”
If they were lame, you moved on.
If they were cool, you made a friend.
No positioning. No strategic alignment. No ROI.
Somewhere along the way, ego showed up.
As adults, we think we need:
A reason
A shared connection
A clear outcome
We’ve turned curiosity into a business case.
The irony? I recruit for a living.
My job is basically:
“Hey — want to join this team?”
I research. I make a case. I reach out. Most people say no. A few say yes.
It’s not weird. It’s human.
In business development for Ramp Talent, I only reach out when I believe someone has a hiring problem I can solve. When I contact a candidate, it’s because I’ve done the homework and think they’re qualified.
I lead with value.
I lead with utility.
And that feels safe.
But I’ve realized something.
Sometimes I hesitate to reach out if I don’t have something obvious to offer.
Because then it feels like I might need something.
And needing feels weak.
So we wait for the perfect reason.
We tell ourselves we’re respecting someone’s time.
Maybe we’re just protecting our ego.
If someone emailed me and said,
“Ben, I don’t need anything. You seem interesting. Want to grab coffee?”
I wouldn’t think they were weird.
I’d respect it.
That’s confidence.
That’s curiosity.
That’s playground energy.
Maybe the strongest networks aren’t built on immediate utility.
Maybe they’re built on simple human interest.
So I’m working on this:
Reaching out without overthinking it.
Letting curiosity be enough.
If you seem interesting, I might just say so.
If we were nine years old, we wouldn’t overcomplicate it.
We’d just walk over and say,
“Want to play?”