The Mirror Test: Why You Might Be the Problem (And That’s Good News)
What one candidate taught me about self-awareness, interview failure, and shifting your energy.
The other day, I spoke with a candidate and let’s call him Blair Sheehan, who had what many would call a “good problem.”
Blair was referred through our Ramp Ambassador program and was on the hunt for a senior product role. This wasn’t a formal interview. More of a “get to know you” networking call. Something I do often to pay it forward and stay close to the market.
I asked him what’s been the biggest struggle in his job search. I expected the usual: “I apply and never hear back.” But Blair had the opposite issue. He was crushing the top-of-funnel game…mapping out companies, building relationships, securing interviews. He just couldn’t land the job.
That’s when I started picking up on something else. Blair had a subtle, but persistent vibe about him. He was slightly defensive, maybe even a little bitter. Not over-the-top, but enough to raise a flag. And if I was feeling it, chances are hiring managers were too.
So I gave it to him straight:
“Blair, I think you’ve got a solid resume and strategy but something’s going sideways in the interviews. Maybe it’s your tone. Maybe it’s energy. Maybe it’s that deep down, you don’t want these jobs and it’s leaking out. Whatever it is, check your vibes.”
He paused. I think it was the first time someone told him that.
Here’s the truth no one wants to hear: If you’re running into the same roadblocks over and over again in your career, your business, or even your personal relationships, it might not be them. It might be you. Too often I talk with executives who struggle to connect with their teams they lead and many times the problem is them, not the team.
And that’s the good news.
Because you are the one thing you can actually change.
Your mindset.
Your energy.
Your story.
Your approach.
It all starts with self-awareness and the willingness to look in the mirror. I hope Blair got something out of our conversation. I know I did.
Next time something’s not working, before blaming the market, the hiring manager, or your crazy cousin, take a beat. Step back. Check the mirror. Then make the shift.
Thanks for reading,
—Ben